A couple of quarters can fund a lot of fun. We've done it once before - picked up some stick-on staches at the general store and wandered around town while everyone eyeballed are business. They were milky white and wouldn't stay on the last time we tried. So, not wanting to waste a weekend, we bought a handful of big black mustaches and took a few photos. Funny, but I kinda want a fu-manchu now...
Whatcha doin with your woman, Timmy Two Nipples?!
I have commissioned an artist to paint this on velvet.